its not stalking. its research.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
