She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize