i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
