oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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