Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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