She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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