i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
