her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
