I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
