Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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