yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
