The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize