So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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