it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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