Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
