i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
