Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
