those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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