The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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