angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
