you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
