I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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