is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
