have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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