too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize