Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
