i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
