dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
