Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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