Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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