Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
