I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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