So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
