dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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