i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize