Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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