how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
