after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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