Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
