Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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