My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize