i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
