I look better un-naked...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
