Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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