I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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