my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
