I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize