it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
