I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
