we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
