i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
