im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
