Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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