where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
