I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
