This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
