Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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