redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
