Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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