Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think a kid would responsible me up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
