I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize